How to Avoid Vapor Lock

My golfing "friends" gave me this picture as a joke because I have so many worries and swing thoughts going through my head trying to swing that I often vapor lock and chunk the ball.  I'm the comic relief for my golf buddies because I can't seem to tackle the golf swing one step or thought at a time. 

Often clients are the same way when it comes to estate planning.  I had a married couple tell me they were "vapor locked" because they didn't know where to start, what's going to happen 5, 10, 20, 30 years from now, what will our kids be like, who can take care of us if we can't, what will the law be, what estate will we have, and on and on.  They admitted they had so many thoughts and worries and "what ifs" that it was just easier to do nothing.

I explained to them that estate planning is the proverbial “elephant” and the successful plan will address your estate plan much like the old “how to eat an elephant answer…….you take it one bite at a time.”  And as an attorney, it is my job to help turn the “elephant” into bite sized tasks, where to start and where to take the next bite.  To their question, “We just don’t know where to start”, I responded as I often do, "Let's start with what you would want right now if you became disabled or died, not 5, 10, 30 years from now, but right now". 

After discussing these concepts with my clients, they understood what it means to create a process where you can reduce the different elements of estate planning into bite sized pieces.  This allows them to take them on, one element at a time – dealing with those that were most pressing first.  After they understood it was “one bite at a time,” you could feel a huge “sigh of relief” instantly hit the room.  No longer were they vapor locked and in fact just moving past that first step opened up their minds and feelings to all kinds of ideas as we progressed. 

Just like an elephant, it might take a while to eat it one bite at a time.  But with the right plan and persistence, my clients eventually saw the successful (and less stressful) result.  The key is to approach it with a bite sized view of the challenge rather than facing a daunting elephant-sized single project.  There is a great article talking about the ways that businesses (as opposed to estate plans) use this approach to take on these types of elephant issues.  The article is by E-Myth, and you’ll find it at this location, "How to Eat an Elephant" - might give you some interesting perspectives on applying the “elephant eating solution” to your other business situations.  I just wish I could apply the same to my golf swing!! 

ILL WILL calls for a WILL with special terms

Not surprisingly situations occur that drive a person to disinherit a child or heir.  My colleague in Wealth Counsel, Greg Turza , offered the following comments, and I am sharing them with you. 

Has one of your children run off and joined a religious cult where he was taught to reject his parents? Or become a compulsive gambler--or even worse -- a criminal?

Disinheriting a child who has become estranged from his family is often understandable. Knowing how to do it right is critical if you want to avoid court battles over your estate when you are gone.

Generally, children have no right to inherit under a will or trust. In Illinois you can exclude a child from your will or trust simply by omitting the disinherited child’s name. But this can lead to costly litigation.

Suppose after you die the disinherited child claims that the omission was inadvertent? Or a product of “undue influence” by the children who were included? Costly litigation will erode their inheritance.

To avoid this calamity the best policy is to specifically mention the disinherited child and state explicitly your decision. For example: “I acknowledge the existence of my son Michael Smith but have decided to make no provision for him as beneficiary.”

Remember, sometimes children are disinherited simply because they are wealthy or because the other children need more help. In such a case consider as an alternative: “It is not for lack of love and affection that I have decided to make no provision for Michael Smith in this instrument.”

Not surprisingly, to disinherit a child or heir requires attention to detail.  Knowing how to do it right is critical to preserve your estate from expensive court battles when you are gone.  If this is a topic we should discuss, call me or leave a comment here.